It's Magic, You Dope!: The Lost Fantasy Classic Page 16
While I was trying to think of an answer, Maggot turned the key.
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I was standing in my study staring at a can of beer that had popped into existence in my hand, and I knew, then, that I was back at the time before Annabel's arrival, back at that moment I'd entered my home to get a beer and a sandwich. I rushed into the kitchen, and a swishing feel along my legs made me glance downward. My trousers were whole again, and neatly pressed, and I was once again in shoes and socks after that long barefoot itinerary.
"Damn,” I said, setting the beer on the sink and looking out the rear window toward Susan's house. Except that no mysterious man was adjusting a tripod-thing in the back yard, the scene was exactly as it had been, so many ages ago.
I dropped the beer onto the sink, and was out the back door and halfway over that fence before the can could bounce twice. A lurched dash through their yard brought me to the front of the house, and I sprang to the porch and thumbed the bell, hard. In the living room, a weepy-eyed Susan jumped up from the couch, dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a kerchief, then came to let me in.
"Albert!” she said, her face coming alive with joy at the sight of me on the doorstep. “Have you thought it over? Made up your mind?"
"Well,” I said, uncertainly.
She glanced behind me, and tugged at my coat.
"Hurry,” she said. “The unicorn looks mean."
I went rigid up my back and across my scalp, but I did manage to turn my head and see the splendid white beast with its shaggy mane and long white spiral spike on its forehead standing out under the lamppost at the corner, its eyes like two red coals of anger. Then Susan shut the door and led me into the parlor, where the cookies and lemonade awaited us, as they always had.
"You shouldn't come out without your cloak of darkness,” she said. “You know how edgy the unicorn gets in the fall. He might have skewered you.” She said it with no more concern than she'd have mentioned my dashing a bit carelessly through traffic.
"Susan...” I said stupidly.
Then, Maggie Baker and her son Timothy came out of the kitchen, she wiping plump hands on her pink apron, he munching a sandwich.
"Hi, Albert,” he said in his froggy little voice.
"I'm so glad you came back, Albert,” said Maggie, with a warm smile at me. An odd smile. “So many young men think true love is dull. Do you still think that cookies and lemonade and sitting sedately on the sofa are too lacking in adventure?"
"I think just sitting down quietly safe inside a house is one of the loveliest occupations invented by mankind."
"You always were a good boy, Albert,” she said, with a satisfied sigh. She patted the top of my head, then she and Timothy wandered off upstairs.
"You know,” I said, after a little thought, “some women will stop at nothing to get their daughters married!"
"Why, Albert!” came a sedate gasp from Susan. “Whatever in the world do you mean?"
I turned my head to tell her, just in time to catch the slightest of twinkles in her eyes.
All at once, I decided the hell with protocol and pleasantries and polite behavior, and I vaulted from the number one cushion right onto the end of the number two cushion, and grabbed the girl very fiercely in my arms.
"You mustn't!” said Susan, her eyes wide and alarmed.
"So scream for help!” I growled, and kissed her.
THE END
SF/F/H FROM PAGETURNER EDITIONS
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The Alpha Trap (1976)
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In the Shadow of Death
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JACK JARDINE'S HUMOROUS SF AND MYSTERY
The Agent of T.E.R.R.A. #1 The Flying Saucer Gambit
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The Black Tower: A Novel of Dark Fantasy
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HAL ANNAS’ COSMIC RECKONING TRILOGY
I. The Woman from Eternity
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III. Witch of the Dark Star
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Hugo nominee story Space to Swing a Cat)
People of the Darkness-Ross Rocklynne (Nebulas nominee author)
When They Come From Space-Mark Clifton (Hugo winning author)
What Thin Partitions-Mark Clifton (Hugo winning author)
Star Bright & Other SF Classics—Mar
k Clifton
Eight Keys to Eden-Mark Clifton (Hugo winning author)
Rat in the Skull & Other Off-Trail Science Fiction-Rog Phillips (Hugo nominee author)
The Involuntary Immortals-Rog Phillips (Hugo nominee author)
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The Cosmic Circle
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A Million Years to Conquer-Henry Kuttner
After the Polothas—Stephen Brown
Arcadia—Tabitha Bradley
Backdoor to Heaven—Vicki McElfresh
Buck Rogers #1: Armageddon 2419 A.D.-Philip Francis Nowlan
Buck Rogers #2. The Airlords of Han—Philip Francis Nowlan
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Claimed!-Francis Stevens
Darby O'Gill: The Classic Irish Fantasy-Hermine Templeton
Diranda: Tales of the Fifth Quadrant—Tabitha Bradley
Dracula's Daughters-Ed. Jean Marie Stine
Dwellers in the Mirage-A. Merritt
From Beyond & 16 Other Macabre Masterpieces-H. P. Lovecraft
Future Eves: Classic Science Fiction about Women by Women-(ed) Jean Marie Stine
Ghost Hunters and Psychic Detectives: 8 Classic Tales of Sleuthing and the Supernatural-(ed.) J. M. Stine
Horrors!: Rarely Reprinted Classic Terror Tales-(ed.) J. M. Stine. J.L. Hill
House on the Borderland-William Hope Hodgson
House of Many Worlds [Elspeth Marriner #1]—Sam Merwin Jr.
Invisible Encounter and Other SF Stories—J. D. Crayne
Murcheson Inc., Space Salvage—Cleve Cartmill
Ki-Gor, Lord of the Jungle-John Peter Drummond
Lost Stars: Forgotten SF from the “Best of Anthologies"-(ed.) J. M. Stine
Metropolis-Thea von Harbou
Mission to Misenum [Elspeth Marriner #2]—Sam Merwin Jr.
Mistress of the Djinn-Geoff St. Reynard
Chronicles of the Sorceress Morgaine I-V—Joe Vadalma
Nightmare!-Francis Stevens
Pete Manx, Time Troubler—Arthur K. Barnes
Possessed!-Francis Stevens
Ralph 124C 41+—Hugo Gernsback
Seven Out of Time—Arthur Leo Zagut
Star Tower—Joe Vadalma
The Cosmic Wheel-J. D. Crayne
The Forbidden Garden-John Taine
The City at World's End-Edmond Hamilton
The Ghost Pirates-W. H. Hodgson
The Girl in the Golden Atom—Ray Cummings
The Heads of Cerberus—Francis Stevens
The House on the Borderland-William Hope Hodgson
The Insidious Fu Manchu-Sax Rohmer
The Interplanetary Huntress-Arthur K. Barnes
The Interplanetary Huntress Returns-Arthur K. Barnes
The Interplanetary Huntress Last Case-Arthur K. Barnes
The Lightning Witch, or The Metal Monster-A. Merritt
The Price He Paid: A Novel of the Stellar Republic—Matt Kirkby
The Thief of Bagdad-Achmed Abdullah
Women of the Wood and Other Stories-A. Merritt
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The First H. G. Wells Omnibus: The Invisible Man: War of the Worlds; The Island of Dr. Moreau
The Second H. G. Wells Omnibus: The Time Machine; The First Men in the Moon; When the Sleeper Wakes
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The Second Jules Verne Omnibus: Around the World in 80 Days; A Journey to the Center of the Earth; Off on a Comet
Three Great Horror Novels: Dracula; Frankenstein; Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
The Darkness and Dawn Omnibus: The Classic Science Fiction Trilogy-George Allan England
The Garrett P. Serviss Omnibus: The Second Delu
ge; The Moon Metal; A Columbus of Space
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